(don't know actually how to write the right one)
How are you, there?
I hear so many bird songs this morning, maybe my neighbors gain their birds at home. Are you curious for what I've been doing lately? I am going to answer by myself. I look like a hopeless person now. If you don't think the same, that's probably only my feeling.
I'm unemployed with the record of my last job was in November. There is no something surprising thing I would to tell you. Because I stay home at a half of this year. I have decided to be at home and caring my Daddy who is sick and need to stay home.
I didn't want to see this condition as an awful thing. I learn a lot since my Daddy sick. You have not seen me before I am washing clothes, sweeping the floor, cleaning the glass, decorating my terrace, and doing some house works.
Sometimes, I feel envy for my friends who have married and have some children or already got good career. Once again, I don't want to see my self as a victim, I just need a rest in my home and being with my parents and doing nothing, while this is not something that limit my self to have income.
I said the same statement when the reason is I am a fighter of a disease. It doesn't mean I have a terrible disease and need some full attention on it. I just feel I am really okay and my Daddy is sick.
My parents want me to build some small business at home. While we think of several things and trying to work it out. This is just difficult thing to do, there is still nothing that proper to us to work on.
I am just afraid for what comes ahead in my future. I haven't thought to raise my own money after graduate. I thought I would be still depending to my parents. The reality said the opposite, I have to be an independent woman. It is exactly similar to my parents word.
They have pushed my self to go to work since I graduated. They just make me to have my own pride and could pay my own bills.
And right now?
I have to work hard on something that is still blur... I don't want something that I have, slowly fading away. It's just so selfish. Things which happen in present make sure myself that I would not wasting my time, to work in a hurry, but still stay calm.
How do I do this?
I don't even know how.
Song of the year: In My Blood - Shawn Mendes