my quotes

'life is like a puzzle need one another to make a complete picture that's why this life so perfect'

-Wikan-

'knowledge cannot replace friendship, I'd rather be an idiot than lose you'
-Patrick to Spongebob-

Kamis, 27 Oktober 2011

way of meditating - I am here because I love this place

11:57 a.m
I don't know why I post this.
@Subha Galeria Mall third floor

Just this time I realize 'I find my place'. Ah.. this is not about why I am in Galeria Mall, and being shopaholic with exaggerated output.
Oh, God I have decided not to sorry my self why I am here. I am here because this is my place. I try to convince my self. Might be it was too exaggerating, I just need to walk on my way. Yes, this is about my major. As you know, I study at Forestry Faculty. This semester I would take majoring. And I have decided from long long ago that I will choose Conservation or Forestech (Forest Product Technology).

But the sentence 'I have decided' doesn't mean I forget my past dreams then feel free to walk on this way. Yah.. You have guessed it well, I am talking about Forestry, and why I am here. I have said, 'as long as I could stand on this place'. But it's too late for me to move to other faculty. I was lazy to take a chance yesterday to follow the SNMPTN. And my mother and father didn't permit me to do that.

Every time I looked my older entries and talking about forestry and my complaint, I felt I regret to write about it while sometimes I looked other entries which encourage my self to stand on forestry, It was so sad. And when I read my entries about how perfect His gift to me till I got into forestry, It made me embarrassed to myself.

I want to stand in forestry not because I want to have a better job. It's not because I want to searching the most unique things in this world include the unique of trees. But I just want to show my self that this is destiny, and I have been chosen to be here while I have chosen this faculty. And I want to have a principle. My father told me," This is your way, who choose this way before? You can't move. You should have a principle. When you try again, I think you will try and try, till you don't belong to any other majoring which make you comfort."

But sometimes I think my friend statement "The future is in you, you choose the way, not your parent. They will do everything to make you stand, to make you would not wasting time and money. Because this is our way and you feel doubt with it, why don't you try another chance?"

Well... My aunt had different answer which is not support one of them, she just said,"It's just something usual, my child ever felt it, but then, she began comfort to stand on her first choice."

I thought, I have to be calm. I don't want sorry my self anymore why I am here. I don't want wasting time, money, or everything. I have sister who will got into university next two years. I have to be an example that "being your self in every where is needed the most to make you comfort". When I say,"I am comfort." I know it would be.

Many of my motivations sometime loose by my laziness. Yet, just this time I have encouraged my self again. But I have to know, move to other faculty is not a right choice. It's just throwing away everything for the one thing that is not sure.

I don't want to feel envy of them who had moved to other faculty and they felt proud to be there. Even though I had that feeling, I don't want to admit and think about it more and more. It's just hurting my self. Like my other friend said,"We just need to love it." Slowly but sure, I will, without saying again or posting it in this blog.

My mother had asked me many things about forestry, example,"what is this tree's name?" and many else, she supported me to have a blink character in forestry. And just yesterday I have paid my administration while bought some forestry books. I don't know may be I have changed my mind. May be I have chosen forestry by my heart. May be it's not that bad. It always be good. I just need to walk on my way with honestly.

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