"Don't you buy me nothing, I'm feeling one thing." Justin Bieber - Mistletoe
This is not Christmas, I know. It was 4 months ago, exactly in December. Last time I had Christmas in Taman. Yeah empty and cold are the things that fulfill that home. I almost remember my English teacher said that home and house are the same thing. ELTI made me live for awhile after I was feeling sad by my condition because of schizophrenia. I don't actually sure that I has had it almost 3 years since the first therapy, that was on 2 December 2009. About him, about me, about scores, about my majoring, and about anything.
Yesterday, I went to the psychiatrist. The doctor said to me to be calm, and I should drink the medicine for every night. It is controlling my feeling actually, means the medicine. She asked me whether I hear many voices or not and whether I could sleep or not. Yeah, standard questions every I came to that place. Once again, the words, "Prevent is better that curing." is true. I trust it now. Scared to be real schizophrenic, scared to lost my face expression, scared having schizophrenic children, then what I can do is this. The return is I lost some memories, it was the consequence, can't deny. That's why I need my diary books a lot.
Recently, my mom told me that who know my self best is my own.
Remembering how much I was being scared because of the psychiatrist explanation, I went to Ganjuran for praying. I checked in via foursquare and wrote a status,"Unidentified pray", actually it wasn't that unidentified, I knew absolutely what I said to God, well, for the sake of good title, I wrote that, is that good enough to be a title? (asking you).
This time I have mid semester for two weeks actually, this was my routines to go to a church before the beginning of the test, whether the pray works or not, it doesn't matter. At least I am trying to decrease my nervous before the tests. Haha.. This is my way. Follow or reject. (so twitter).
Hey, guys, I wanna tell you something, socialize via Internet seems different with interacts in the real life. I felt it guys, you could be who you are in everywhere but don't forget to make a friend. You need that. Because lonely > empty > cold > no friend > die > none is coming to your graveyard hahaa..
Suggestion: watch "Christmas Carol" (This is not Christmas >>> just mid tests)