Now, I feel 'want to pup'
I have written many things in my head, here. Being so selfish makes me more selfish. I was writing story, or any quote, any bubble, any essay, any task, any assignment, but it was just about me, what else? I thought that I wrote these all just for my self. Don't you see? no one commented on this blog, mean while they were stalking. I judge my essay did not finish anything. From out sight I feel that no one knows this blog, no one notice, no one feels disturbed, no one even realized I was here. Till this time I am stingy my self, I posted, began writing on my social network, began asking many persons, but I am still alone. They were with me but I was alone. They were there, but they were only watching at me.
It is rain, It had been two days in dry days. This is not the right time to write my piques , This is not the right time to post some entries. Although this is not the right time, I am still loyal to you. Hey, blog will you just save my story? will you not tell everybody? No , of course. But yeah, as you may know I am on this earth and was born to do something. I believe on that. I believe I have something to contribute to develop anything. I said anything because I have no something. I have something but it means nothing. They were not noticed. I hate this earth. What does this life mean? Rarely, I feel I am nothing. I only make some messy stuff, broke it and did not mend it again.
I feel I am stuck in my time but I am growing up. It seemed the world stopped spinning for awhile. But the sun went up and down so quick, and the days change to other day. This second, I confuse for what I wrote before. No reason again. I confuse for what I wrote for what I thought.
I always felt alone. But I did not want to be disturbed. I want to be alone. I thought that this what my self born. We were not born to die. Just a second, I really feel I was writing a suddenly thinking quote.
Usually, I opened my entry with some greetings, with 'I don't know what I am gonna tell'. It almost happened. But I have written it again. For real, This morning I woke up in a fresh mind. I went down and cleaned my rabbit's cage, cleaned my hamster cage, and feed my fish. Firstly, I didn't want to share my daily activities. It seemed private. Sometimes, I want to tell every body, what I have done. but there's many things had not been done. Like I told you, sometimes we left something unsaid no-repaired. Responsibility comes when you've done to worked on something. I want to tell my self to take responsible to what I've done. To make it all good, maybe as good as possible.
I've found a word that is totally good, 'responsible'. As we grow up, not only in physics, but also in attitude. We take a risk to do something and going on our life. Sometimes, I feel regret, because something we've done, did not make a good result. Like my semester before. It looked like I was in front of the mirror and faced that's real me and it is not good enough.
Just a commercial break. " What will you do when you have a spend more time? when you want to build your self?"
Even though it was not connected. But I made a better connection between these all phrase. It were only my thinking. Maybe it was not satisfying enough. It's regret. Responsible to what you say, what you write, what you've done. Wish all people build their character like this. Starting from our self first then influence the others, I feel I want to. I hate this lonely, I'm with you. We are not alone. We are going to make this lonely to be done.